“In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance." ~ John M. Gottman
Men do not always go to couples counseling Men who come to Tim tend to attend regularly and value the process, which makes it more likely to work. If either party won’t attend, couples counseling cannot work.
- Tim will help clients develop effective coping skills so they can withstand the stress of conflict and live their lives more fully.
- Tim’s style is very gentle and tactful. No ganging up, no one is made to be a fool, and there is no one “in your face.”
- Clients set the pace and the direction and Tim keeps them on track.
- Privacy and boundaries are always respected. Clients choose to share as much or as little of the story, the personal details, as they wish.
Skills Approach: Tim helps clients increase their conflict resolution skills, their ability to emotionally connect, so they can be more independent and achieve greater well-being. People tend to appreciate the skills approach as they choose what to disclose, when to disclose it and they gain the confidence necessary to work on themselves outside of the sessions.
Short-term focus:Tim’s goal is to have people not come for long periods of time. Counseling is not meant to be forever. As you learn the skills, you’ll find that you can have these discussions without Tim and then save both time and money, not to mention reduce hostility.
Homework: Tim believes in the value of working between sessions. Just like athletes who must train between games to improve their performance, clients find their sessions more valuable when they regularly practice between sessions. Homework varies by issue. Those who do the work tend to need fewer sessions and find the peace they seek more quickly.
Counseling is not about being dependent on a counselor. With regular practice, homework and by learning new skills, counseling does not need to be long-term. The skills learned can be applied to a variety of issues people face in their lives.